Funny drinking sayings

Drinking alcohol and funny sayings about it has become folklore in many countries, including Russia, USA, Australia, European Union countries, and other countries around the World.  We invite you to share with us funny drinking sayings which are popular in your country. You can do that leaving a comment at the end of this page.

Alcohol and relationship sayings

Don’t forget that alcohol helps to remove the stress, the bra, the panties and many other problems.

Alcohol not only expands the blood vessels but also communications.

Alcohol not only helps to make new acquaintances, but also end the old once. 

Sayings about hangover

If only I knew that I will have this headache today, I would have got drunk yesterday.

All the problems fade before a hangover…

Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.

After the weekend the most difficult task is to remember names… 

Funny sayings about alcoholism

It’s better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholic Anonymous.

You won’t break our will: we drank, we are drinking and we will drink.

You won’t drink away the alcoholism.

In principle, I can stop drinking, the thing is – I don’t have such a principle.


I am not an alcoholic. I simply enjoy living in liquid medium.

I know my limits: if I fell down it means enough.

Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?

If you wet your feet your throat will reject. If you ‘wet’ your throat your feet will reject. 

Sayings about drugs and cigarettes

Smoking is harmful, drinking is disgusting and to die young is a pity.

I say NO to the drugs, but they won’t listen.

Smoking is a slow death! But we’re not in a hurry…

I became a vegetarian – switched to weed.

We must pay for the mistakes of our youth… at the drugstore.

Drinking and women

Are we drinking happily, or with women?

You don’t like her? Drink more.

Sayings about Vodka

By the cup of Nescafé even the most secret thoughts turn into words, and by the bottle of vodka – into actions.

Vodka is our enemy. But who said that we are afraid of our enemies?!

Cocktail ‘Three piglets’: buy a box of vodka and invite two friends.

In vino veritas, in vodka spirits.

Trust me, you can dance! Vodka.

Vodka is my enemy. But real warrior is not afraid of any enemy.


We are all mortal until the first kiss and the second glass of wine.

Alcohol isn’t sold for people under 18. Ok, I’ll come at 18:30.

I have applied for a loan but received negative feedback from the bank. They didn’t like the goal of the loan – to get drunk in Maldives.

Trust me, you can dance! Vodka.

Dear 3 AM, we have to stop meeting this way. I’d rather sleep with you.

You can explore more sayings about drinking in the page of Funny sayings about drinking effect.

Explore other funny sayings categories:

Best funny sayings

Funny sayings about men

Funny sayings about women

Funny sayings about work

Funny sayings about love

Funny sayings about life

Funny friendship sayings

Inspirational sayings

Funny one liners

Funny random sayings

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Funny drinking sayings are not intended to encourage you to drink. We fully support the idea of responsible drinking.