Funny Easter quotes

Funny Easter quotes page offers you the top quotes, sayings and greetings for the Easter. Cheer up your family and friends with funny quotes of this wonderful spring day. We have gathered the top sayings – the folklore of the Easter day and allow you to use them for your celebration. Many of the funny sayings may become a funny Easter greeting, provided that the person you are greeting has a sense of humor. We let you decide it yourself. Happy Easter to you all!

Easter is not the best time to tell my parents you’re a Jew.

Celebrating April 20 I got more hungrier than Jesus after not eating for 3 days.

My Internet was down for 20 minutes so I can imagine how Jesus have felt before the crucifixion.

Every Easter I can’t understand how the eggs and the bunnies are related.

Easter would be my favorite zombie-related holiday If there would be no Halloween.

It seems that Satan doesn’t even like you.

I’m sure that I would betray you only for much more than 30 pieces of silver to murderous authorities. Certainly, unless we happened to be in a major economic recession.

The only story of bloodletting and treason I think about this weekend is Game of Thrones.

Hopefully this colorful candy will help to distract you from the shocking horror that you experienced because of a man being nailed to a cross.


It’s ironic your birthday falls on Easter since you’re clearly going to hell.

I have to admit that Easter is my favorite ham-related holiday.

Passover is a copy-paste of Easter but without the bunny, bonnets, colored eggs or New Testament.

Not only during the Easter there’s no such thing as too much candy.

Funny Easter quotes related to Jesus Christ

Note: The following Easter quotes should be considered as black humor by religious people

It would be a miracle if Jesus Christ turned water into less expensive petrol.

I wonder if Jesus Christ can build a special look on The Walking Dead this Sunday.

What a pity that the fulfillment of the Lord’s promise this time means that I’m saved while you are not.

I know some other former carpenters I admire more than Jesus Christ and Harrison Ford.

Jesus Christ feels sorry dying for you.

We can relax tonight by watching The Passion of the Christ

Watching Jesus Christ shirtless on the cross reminds me that I need to get ready for beach season.

I wish Happy Easter from one lapsed Catholic to another.

We should stop talking about gay marriage and remember an unmarried 33-year-old man who is having fun with 10 dudes.

The greatest success to Amanda Knox on being treated better by the Italian judicial system than Jesus Christ was.

For me a Jewish man rising from the dead seems less magical than finding the one I can date.

I wish you have a more successful Big Friday than Jesus Christ had.

Jesus regrets dying for you.

I’m sorry to hear that the only guy who you’ve seen naked this year is Jesus on a crucifix.


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We are aiming to gather as much of funny quotes, as possible, thus we would appreciate if you told us about a funny saying, quote or quip that you happen to know. Not necessarily a funny Easter quote – it can be about anything. Write them as a comment in the section below.