Funny friendship quotes

If you are looking for funny friendship quotes – you’ve come to the right place. Here you’ll find best friendship sayings about relations among buddies, mates, acquaintances and similar. Browse through dozen of quotes to find the best ones.

Funny friend quotes

Call me when you stop being a vegan.

Many of your Facebook friends could be friends for someone who has no friends.

I only wanted to thank in advance for the lovely letter and flowers that I’m going to send to myself and pretend they are from you.

When I said I’d always be there for you I didn’t realize you were so damn needy.

I wish we worked together so that we could hate the same people.

Everyone has a friend, who is a plant-killer.

If Jesus loves you it doesn’t mean that everyone else don’t think you’re an asshole.

I feel sorry for myself having to hear that you feel sorry for yourself.

Your opinion is important as long as you don’t offer it.

Why do you always disappoint me in advance?

If you have a good fat friend, you should tell him about the thing called gym.

Feel free to call me in case of an emergency provided that you tried calling everybody else

I love gossiping with you as I know this is the only time when you are not gossiping about me.

Your friend will go an extra mile for you, provided that there is no actual walking..

You are doing a great job in knowing exactly what compliment I’m fishing for.

I could not expect an online friend to be any better.

I will keep calling, texting, emailing and Facebook messaging you until I’ll make you believe that I’m normal.

Only a member of the opposite sex could get in the way of your so valued close relationship.

We have been friends for so many years that I already don’t remember why we are friends at all.

There’s something extremely unimportant that I have to tell you ASAP.

I’m concerned about you being so happy the last days.


I’m sure we will stay friends for all our lives as we are too lazy to find new friends.

If my financial situation will ever force me to find a roommate, do know that you’re my preferred choice among the least annoying candidates.

Let’s talk again soon as I’m starting to miss you listening to my problems.

You’re getting to good in soccer to be my friend.

Thanks for getting drunk enough not to interrupt me while I’m talking to you about my problems.

I only argue with you about something I don’t care.

Funny best friend quotes

“If I knew you where coming over – I would have gone out“, – thought no best friend ever.

Everybody has a friend in their circle who comes to the party with one bottle of beer, but drinks 8 of them.

His girlfriend wanted serious relationship and her boyfriend agreed. Seriously, there have been only a few moments to smile since then.

Don’t want to upset you, but life would be the same without you.

There’s still enough time to forget to buy a gift for my best friend.

Let’s not ruin our great se with friendship.

The best friend is the one who points out only your strengths.

True friend will always be there for you as long as he wants it.

Your real friends will keep your secrets safe as they are too boring to share with anyone.

Your best friend will never like your Facebook post. He/she will WOW it.

A true friends would never post on Facebook a selfie in which you don’t look good.

I love it that no matter that it’s been so long since we talked we don’t have to talk yet.

If anything happens you will be the first, second or forth to know it.

As your thunder buddy I promise not to date you beautiful and hot wife after you ruin your marriage.

All of your friends might know when you are moving to another location, but only the best ones would answer your call around those days.

Being your best friend I should probably tell you that you actually aren’t my best friend.

You are my best friend, because actually you are the only friend I have.

Best friends love hating the same things.

Your best friend would always tell you when you’re a dick.

True friends tolerate you being an asshole.

You could be my best friend if you changed your horrible taste in sports teams.

I will always be your best friend, unless your girlfriend will show any interest in me.You best friend is the one who gives a shit about your shit.

Best friends never get tired of making jokes about each other.

You are the only person I don’t mind sharing my coke bottle with.

Best friends keeps your secret longer – at least for one hour.

Funny quotes about friendship

Next time you come to our town make sure to call me in advance so that I planned to be too busy to see you during your visit.

You are the one I would go hunting for men because you’re I’m much prettier than you.

I promise to do a better job in hiding from you how much I hate you.

Your best friend in life will the one who already knows too much about you.

I’d love that you took time from your intense work-schedule and called me to find out that I’m too busy to talk.

Thank you for always pretending that you are listening to my problems before I pretend to be listening to yours.

The only reason why I didn’t apologize you was because I was waiting for you to forget that I owe you an apology.

There are many friends whose life you’d flag as inappropriate, of only you could.


I think you are the cutest girl in this party – did you invite such friends on purpose?

I appreciate you took my advice after someone else gave it to you.

As being the expert in easily ruining my own relationships, please let me give you some advice on yours.

I would prefer to establish new friendships rather than mover ours.

Nothing brings too people more closer than hating the third one.

Oooops, I’ms sorry, I didin’t know how to describe you without insulting words.

Let’s hang out together as soon as I feel it won’t be a waste of my time.

I think you are a great couple unless you decide to split up which I would kind of support as I think it would be the best move.

I’ happy that we both have a sense of humor and understand that I’m a little bit funnier than you.

Funny friendship status

Facebook is not the best platform to say your friend you’re sorry – Paypal is.

If anything important happens in my life, you will be the first to know it after Facebook.

I remember to wish my friends ‘happy birthday’ only after seeing dozens of wishes of others on Facebook.

If you have a secret, the safest way to keep it is on Facebook.

If your friends start getting kids on purpose, you must be getting old.

Sometimes you may be the reason why nobody likes you.

I liked you much more if I didn’t follow your Facebook and Twitter updates.

Hi, darling, I just called to see if your updated Facebook status was about me.

People keep their ex’s on friends list on Facebook only to tease them how much fun they have without them.

Your reluctance to put me among your LinkedIn friends makes me question our Facebook friendship.

I will buy you a Facebook share for each status update that you do not post.

I’m excited to hear about the Facebook phone which will reinvent the way I don’t communicate with people.

Don’t fall in love with Donald Trump – he loves China.

I wonder whether people, who plan their unrealistic weddings on Pinterest will also plan their realistic divorces on Pinterest as well.

The highlight of our friendship was you stopping liking my posts.

It is always good to have some boring nights so that we valued the interesting ones more. And then I decided – let’s hang out tonight.

Your Tinder profile looks like you’re a rapist.

I’m sorry to tell you but I have already seen the link that you’ve shared 4 years ago.

Your continuous support and praise of Donald Trump made me unfriend you on Facebook.

Your friend becoming your enemy is only one status post away.

I can always guess what you are thinking about as you always tell me what you are thinking about.

I promise I will never scroll past 2012 on your Facebook timeline.

Funny friendship sayings

You shouldn’t worry what people think about you – most probably they do not think about you. Actually they think about what the others are thinking about them..

I’m totally fine with babysitting your kids as long as you remain in the room.

I’m sorry I could not describe you without non-insulting words.

I wish you called me by my porn name.

Whenever we talk, you actually make me want you to be a better person.

I just love working next to you in complete silence.

When we talk I start to wish your paid me like to your psychiatrist.

I’m willing to catch-up with you just because I might need something from you the next day.

The worse your colleague is working, the better friend he tries to become.

I have a suggestion – let’s be the skipping-the-gym buddies.

I’m here for you only because there’s little going on in my own life.

I enjoy being your gym buddy only because I’m in a better shape than you are.

I’d prefer to see you masturbating rather than taking one more selfie.

Whenever you need someone to talk to, you can always call my answer machine.

I have a talent to make my friends’ day better by not showing up.

Short friendship quotes

I’d like to mark you as spam in real life.

Call me, when you need to be impregnated

If there’s anything I could help you with, don’t hesitate to forget it.

My voicemail will always be there for you.

You shouldn’t stop believing in yourself only because I have.

Let’s stay out of touch more often.

Let’s agree to always disagree.

I will always be ready to listen to your problems in order to avoid my own.

You are the best in deflecting my compliments.

What would you say about hanging out offline?

I’m looking forward to your visits being over.