Funny Halloween quotes

Check our funny Halloween quotes about this unique day, that is sometimes also called All Saints’ Eve, celebrated on the 1st of November. This day is celebrated mainly by Christians and is dedicated to remembering the dead. So here are some funny sayings about this celebration day.

I’m sorry to tell but you are older than recommended ages indicated on the Sexy Witch costume package.

The scariest thing about November 1st is that shopping malls are already selling Christmas goods & decorations.

This Halloween may your Donald Trump wig look just as unrealistic as Donald’s Trump.

For people, who live in fear, every day is Halloween.

There is one day in a year when my boss can be himself – its Halloween.

On this Halloween night our kid will go out dressed in a costume that says „my parents didn’t want to buy a costume for me “.


The only day in the year when you’re allowed to look at a picture of your ex-girlfriend is Halloween.

Only on Halloween you may fall in love with a witch.

Halloween has passed, but your friend’s appearance – has not.

Dating on Halloween has a default problem – you don’t know if this guy is wearing a costume, or is simply ugly.

It looks like your girlfriend was born on Halloween.

What’s a problem with your boyfriend – he looks like being in a continuous Halloween.

This Halloween you may scare people by showing them the touch of death, something like a Blackberry phone.

Happy Halloween to your colleague who you are afraid of all year round.

There’s nothing scarier than to ask what I’m going to be on Halloween night.

I’m not sure that Santa Claus isn’t a leftover of Halloween.

What could be scarier on Halloween than Donald Trump’s attitude how to make America great again?

The only reason why I am single on Halloween is because I want all the candies for myself.

The scariest thing in the world is my Google Search history.


The adults celebrate the 1st of November as an International Eat You Kid’s Halloween Candy After They Fall Asleep Day.

To a wine expert: would you please recommend any good wine that pairs with eating my children’s Halloween strawberry candy.

Funny Halloween quotes

If you want to go really scary for Halloween you should go as the person you claim to be on Facebook.

I’m proud to say that I‘ve outworn last year’s costume.

If you really want to select a shocking costume for your Halloween, choose it to be like Renee Zellweger’s new face.

I’m practicing my zombie role for the upcoming Halloween on my subordinates at work.

You don’t look that scary anymore when you dress that scary zombie costume.

Taping your balls between your legs does not count to be a Halloween costume.

I have to confess, no Halloween costume could ever creep me out as much as your regular attire.

I’m not going let the fact that Halloween is on a Friday stop me from showing up to work hangover on Monday.

For Halloween I can dress as the fat version of any Hollywood actress I want.

I’m going as a zombie for Halloween by slouching half-dead at my desk like every other day of the year.

The scariest part of Halloween is knowing my rent is due the next day.

Where there is no imagination there is no horror. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

Say boo and scary on!


Just a reminder you’ve got plenty of time to plan a disappointing last-minute Halloween costume.

I’d dress up as a Siri for Halloween if my life didn’t already entail being asked stupid questions all day.

Your Halloween costume makes me want to take it off.

Cheers, said every Vampire before sinking his teeth into man’s neck.

In my life I’ll always respect our differences. Even if that only difference would be that you’re a zombie.

I am not sure but I hope that people mistakenly believe this crappy, last-minute, thrown-together Halloween costume is supposed to be Lady Gaga.

Halloween is the only time I can easily convince others that my children are monsters. Without any legal issues.

The problem appears when you put more thought into your Halloween costume than into my career.

The scariest part of Halloween is the people who work at Halloween stores.

Let’s pretend Halloween is different than any other dateless evening of sadly thrusting sugar down our throats.

Your costume looks annoyingly similar to mine.

I’m sure your intoxication alone will substantially scare others.

Best of luck choosing a costume that’s not too clever for anyone to understand.

I doubt that you know that we’re too cool to dress up for Halloween.

The best ingredient for your Halloween cake is boo-berries.

If you meet a man in a vampire costume, it’s ok to greet him with “Hi, sucker”.

McDonald’s has launched a special meal for Halloween – Hamboogers.

If you bought a Haloween costume, but need to have a special haircut, you better go to a boo-ty shop.