Funny random sayings

The page of funny sayings from various situations and aspects of our life. Find random things to say on this page and subpage of:

Funny driving sayings

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There is no point of running away form a sniper. You will die from exhaustion.

Sometimes even when you brake you can’t stop.

It is not bad if you got stood up, it is worse if you liked it.

I love to travel. It’s a way of meeting new people, opening the gates of new cities. Signed by Genghis Khan.

Everyone has a conscience: it doesn’t matter if he wants it or not.

It seemed like we were screwed. It appeared it didn’t seem like that.

A badge on the 150 kilo man: I’m tired of living; ask me if I want to lose weight.

After another crisis it is getting obvious why the spoon is used according to the design. However, we use it as a musical instrument.

Carlson is not that scary, only his propeller is.

According to the principle of the sandwich, if you put butter on both sides the sandwich will hang in the air.

The longer you sleep – the more sleep you need. The more you eat – the bigger is your appetite.

They look so much alike, like two drops from the same end.

If the answer to all questions is yes, so why not?

There is a lot of conscience in me, but there’s a lack of time.

‘Who the hell allowed me to be born in this stupid head?’ a Thought said and killed herself…

Not all the things are that bad, as everything that is wrong so bad.

Concerning the absence of toilet paper, there should be complaint books laid out at publicly used places.

The eyes are afraid of. And they do well.

If a person loses his head, why does it matter how many brains did he have?

It’s better to give birth once than to complain every day.

From two vices I always choose the one I haven’t tried yet.

There are lots of good people, but much less of useful ones.

There’s good climate in heaven, but a better company in hell.

What is Napoleon’s legacy? The cake, the cognac and psychos.

You were born yourself, now help the others.

So there would be something to be silent about, there is always something to talk about.

A trolley infected with a controller is like a rotten apple: not that bad from the outside, but used only in extreme cases.

Winged phrases are passed from mouth to mouth, and that way they multiply.

Color blind are lucky people! They don’t notice the greyness of the daily routine.

If you see green, it doesn’t mean the spring has come.

The row saw me and happily waged the tail.

During a hiking trip: these are not legs anymore, but a means of transportation.

Cleavage – is an art of being naked so that you’re still dressed up.

Summer, please go slower.

A bright mind is a necessity while shopping.

If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, didn’t see with your own eyes, then don’t think nonsense with your little brain and don’t talk with your big mouth.

For more funny sayings go to:

Funny driving sayings

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Funny sayings about technologies

Funny medical sayings

Funny crime sayings

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As a funny random things to say you may also want to visit the pages of funny one liners and obvious facts. We would also appreciate if you shared your funny sayings with us. Please do that through the comments below.