Funny profession sayings

There are funny sayings about every profession or craft on earth. Either it is a scientist, a programmer, a pilot or a doctor. Read funny sayings about various professions below and if yours is not there, but you know one, please share it with us in the comments section below.

A bad boxer doesn’t need toothpaste.

It’s nice to fly sober, but unusual – the pilot said.

Masseur is a person who gets money from a woman for something that the other gets a slap in the face.

The bases of machine-gunners profession: skip on time.

The aircrew says goodbye to you. Have a nice flight!

An officer: Girls, follow me to the basement. I will teach you how to give a tribute.’

The garbage disposal company provides a new service – guarantee. If the client is not satisfied – the garbage will be returned double.

Freud tried many things. The things that he liked the best, he called perversions.

Scientists have proven that people will believe in anything that starts with the words ‘scientists have proven’.


 

Funny sayings about doctors

My mother told me: ‘Go study, you’ll be a gynecologist… you’ll have warm hand all your life.’

Wow! – Gynecologist said. Wowow… – the echo responded.

The only plus in the physicist’s life is the cross on his grave.

Patient, wake up! It’s time to drink your sleeping pills.

‘Who’s laughing last?’ ‘The surgeon.’

There should always be a morgue just outside a good surgery room.

Funny sayings about computer specialists

Programmers don’t die, they just lose memory.

For a bad programmer an operating system is an obstacle

A geek is a diagnosis or a sexual orientation.

Funny sayings about army

A soldier eats so many oats during his service that he’s ashamed to look at the eyes of a horse.

During the war, there is nothing appreciated more than the flat feet.

When I was born – I cried. When they took me to army – I understood why.

We don’t need more cameras, watching regular citizens. We need more cameras watching the politicians.

I just heard that Walmart will open a dentist office in their shops. I bet there will be an express lane for people with 5 teeth or less.

After listening to my story, my psychiatrist registered to his one psychiatrist.

When things don’t work out for you right away, just remember that it takes 6 months to build a Bentley car, and 13 hours to build a Toyota.

Check other funny sayings about work and its subpages:

Funny sayings about work time

Funny boss sayings

Funny sayings about students

Funny sayings about money

Funny advertisements

Go and visit the pages of other funny sayings:

Best funny sayings

Funny sayings about men

Funny sayings about women

Funny drinking sayings

Funny sayings about love

Funny sayings about life

Funny friendship sayings

Inspirational sayings

Funny one liners

Funny random sayings

Share your funny saying about any profession with us in the comments section.