Funny short sayings

If you are in a hurry or simply an impatient person, you might want to read only the funny short sayings. Here are some great sayings for you.

It’s you who is bad. The weather.

You can’t make the same mistake twice, because the second time it’s not a mistake – but a choice.

I tried getting out of bed, but without any success.

There are people, who are faster than fashion.

I hate that feeling, when I understand that I have told too much…

Bladder is like a heart- you can’t order it.

Do you know what most people lack in their lives? Understanding that they don’t lack anything.

I get a feeling that most people have their feelings made in China.

When you’re right, no one remembers it. But when you make one mistake- everyone remembers it.

You don’t spell love, you feel it.

The one, who loves you the most, is not the one who screams it to the whole world, but the one who knows how much sugar you put in your coffee.

Most of all I hate the conscience. That bitch is always complaining. And also the will- I don’t even know where that one is hanging about.

I only wanted some tea, but then it started: a bun, a sandwich, candies…

Swim against the current, because downstream only shit swims.

If everything is ok right now, it means there’s a shitstorm coming.

If I said I will be ready in five minutes, it means you don’t have to call me every half an hour.


Why do we ask others how their weekend was? Only to tell about ours.

The best teacher in life is the last mistake that you make.

There is only two ways to be crazy. For one you get paid and for the other you get locked up.

While the optimist, pessimist and realist were arguing about the glass of water, the opportunist just drank it.

Age doesn’t bother, only bothers the idea what others will say.

Smart may have the brains, but stupid has the balls.

I’m not totally useless – I can be used as a bad example.

If my dog makes you uncomfortable, I wouldn’t mind locking you in the other room.

It is so much easier to get shit done when you need to get shit done.

Check out some more funny short sayings among the Funny one liners. You may also want to visit the following sites:

Stupid sayings

Funny sms

Short funny sayings


If you have heard a funny saying, a funny quote, a funny statement or quip, please share it with us. You can post it as a comment below. We are grateful for everyone, who is sharing their funny sayings.