Funny Valentine’s day quotes

St. Valentines day, or Love day is the key day for many people who love and want to be loved. But as to all things, we have a funny approach to St. Valentines day as well. Please look through the best funny Valentine’s day quotes and feel free to use them to cheer up your Love day. On this page you will find not only funny quotes about Valentine’s day, but also funny statuses, greetings and wishes that you may use to greet your girlfriend or boyfriend with the February 14th.

Funny Valentine’s day quotes

My boyfriend told me I can do with him whatever I want on Valentine’s Day, so I tied him up and went to the nightclub.

I wish my Valentine won’t run on batteries.

Thanks for secretly becoming my Valentine by hearting one of my tweets on Twitter.

I wish your Valentine’s Day celebration get a tone of likes.

You’re the best person to spend this annual obligation with.

My only wish today is to run into one of my exes with my new Valentine.

Wish our Valentine’s Day sicken all our single friends.

It’s good to know that my Valentine’s Day as a single person is anyway more romantic than married ones.

I promise to vote for any presidential candidate, who promise to forbid Valentine’s Day.

For love for you I would even do the thing Meat Loaf wouldn’t do.

Every man would agree, that 14th of February should be celebrated in a fiscally but not sexually conservative way.


What’s does my perfect Valentine’s day look like? I am sitting at work with 5 cell phones in front of me and people are calling me every 10 minutes to buy one of the 50 reservations that I made in different restaurants.

If you‘re alone during Valentine’s day, it is priceless for you. Otherwise you would spend a few hundred dollars.

If you feel sad that you stay alone during Valentine‘s day, just remember that nobody loves you on any of those other 355 days of the year.

Today is February 14th – St. Valentine’s day. Women call it Love day, while men name it as extortion day.

To comfort your sister if she’s alone during Valentine’s day, you may say: 80 percent of my socks are single but I have never seen them crying because of that.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all the couples, wish your love last forever and to all single people wish your batteries last forever…

Valentine’s Day is for couples. All singles can enjoy themselves for rest of 364 days of the year.

I hope you can finish better this Valentine’s Day than the Seattle Seahawks this year.

Please remember that Valentine’s Day is a polite reminder that Christmas decorations must go down!

Love doesn’t have a price tag on it, but all its accessories has.

It would be great if Valentine’s Day came with a fast-forward button.

I trust you plan more for Valentine’s Day than Russia prepared for the Olympics.

I hope you noticed that not only the Sochi Olympics opening ceremony was missing a ring.

Funny Valentine’s day greetings and wishes

I‘m only in this for your cute butt. Obviously. Happy Valentine‘s day.

I love you just the way I am

A real confession: You mean so much more to me than my new iPhone!

I do not need a photograph to remember you, because you are always on my mind.

Darling, will you be my player number 2?

To be happy with a man you have to understand him a lot and love me a little. While with the women it‘s vice versa: love them a lot and don‘t even try to understand them. Happy Valentine’s day!

A recommendation for girls for St. Valentine’s day: if you want to be successful among guys during St. Valentine’s day and lucky afterwards, the only ring you may were during the Day of Love is the contraceptive ring in your vagina.

I would love you even if you were so ugly that everyone died.


You would be perfect (if only you lost 20 pounds)

I need to fell in love, because I haven’t had any problems for a long time. Happy February 14th!

This Valentine’s Day, I am wishing you all the love a somewhat logical string of emojis can convey.

Happy Valentine’s Day to someone who took a bigger risk marrying me than the guy who’s about to marry Amanda Knox.

May your status on Facebook do not change to ‘complicated’ after this Valentine’s Day.

You’ve to kiss a lot of frogs, before you find your prince on the horse.

You should leave office earlier today so your colleagues will think you have some romantic plans for Valentine’s Day.

I wish you would be my emergency contact person one day.

I’m celebrating no need to celebrate Valentine’s Day.

Congratulations! You are my first repetitive Valentine.

I suspect you was cheating, your gift for me was too amazing.

I want to say thank you for the flowers I’m going to send to myself and pretend are from you.

Darling, it’s already too late to break up with me before Valentine’s Day.

Don’t worry, I know the perfect gift you’ll give me for this Valentine’s Day.

Let’s celebrate 364 days without having to be thoughtful towards our loved ones.

It’s a pity to tell you I’m sorry my period ruined your plans for this Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day may be a success only if you get cards from a secret admirer, who isn’t just you sending this card to yourself.

My love, I can’t believe how much I’m not sick of you. What about you?

Let’s celebrate Valentine’s Day by repopulating the planet.

There only one thing which is more exhausting than planning Valentine’s Day and it is pretending to be excited about it.

No, darling, I don’t think it would be appropriate to give you your Valentine’s Day gift at the restaurant.

You and Valentine’s Day chocolates are going straight to my thighs.

Your street won’t be the only thing getting plowed this Valentine’s Day.

I have a tradition to wish Happy Valentine’s Day to the person that I’ve slept with most recently.

Every single man, knows that the best part of being his own date for Valentine’s Day is knowing that he is guaranteed to score.

Many ladies are expecting to receive a wedding ring for the Valentine’s Day, but actually the only ring they’re wearing for Valentine’s Day is contraceptive.

I’ll be spending this Valentine’s Day with my pants off for the sad kind of reason.

My one true love is the workweek ending.

I wish a happy Valentine’s Day to someone who is already planning the best night of my whole life.

Being a single, for the February 14th I am making reservations for several glasses of wine in my mouth.

My thoughts and prayers go out to all men today whose girlfriends are on their period this Valentines day.

On Valentine’s Day women strive to find the right guy, to who she could tell everyday that he is wrong.

You may find it hard to find a girlfriend on Valentines’ Day if your X-ray is better than you photo.

We hope you enjoyed these funny Valentine’s day quotes. Or at least some of them made you laugh or smile – that’s already a good thing to know. If you are looking for more general funny quotes about love, you may visit the pages of Funny love quotes or Funny sayings about love. Also, we encourage you to share you funny sayings with us through the comments section below. Happy Valentine’s day!