Funny Valentine’s Day sayings

On this page you will find even more funny Valentine’s Day sayings. These are the sayings about Valentine’s Day, celebrating it, about love and relationships. Enjoy the funny sayings  and follow the links at the end of the page to find even more funny Valentine sayings.

Best wishes for the 5th Valentine’s Day to condom in your wallet.

Thank you in advance for the gift I will send to myself and pretend is from you.

I’ll leave my work earlier today so colleagues will think I have great Valentine’s Day plans.

You won’t receive any Valentine’s Day card from me, my love cannot be expressed in words.

I don’t understand why Cupid was chosen to represent Valentine’s Day. When I think about romance, the last thing on my mind is a short, chubby toddler coming at me with a weapon.

Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is.

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.

Gravitation cannot be held responsible for people falling in love.

Sales ad at a store: ‘You are my one and only’ Valentine’s cards, now on sale: 4 for $5.

Never go to bed mad — stay up and fight.

No matter how love sick a woman is, she shouldn’t take the first pill that comes along.

Love is like playing the piano. First you must learn to play by the rules, then you must forget the rules and play from your heart.


Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

I want to feel your sweet embrace, but don’t take that paper bag off of your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes. Damn, I’m good at telling lies!

I see your face when I am dreaming. That’s why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way?

What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime…

Love is blind but marriage is an eye-opener.

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthDay is to forget it once.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife.

You can win girls love on Valentine’s Day with hearts and flowers, but if you have some money, diamonds are girl’s best friend.

Girls would rather have diamonds around their neck than roses in a vase.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, but whiskey is cheaper, than dinner for two.

Oh sorry, I forgot about you, but you can be sure I’ve done that in the most loving way.

Remember that saying “I love you” means nothing unless you back it up chocolate and champagne.

These days 10-year old girls are crying on Valentine’s day because they broke up with their boyfriend. When I was 10, I cried because I missed the morning cartoons.

I love you for always showing me how to be my best self, alcohol.

My favorite Valentine’s Day gift, which always puts a smile on my face, is antidepressants.

What do journalists confess during Valentine’s Day? You complete me, autocorrect.

Perfect advice for office employees – don’t forget to leave your work early today so that people actually think you do have a girlfriend and plans for Valentine’s Day evening.

For Valentine’s Day, I pledge to only ignore a quarter of what you say.

For this celebration night I want to do things to you that I’ve already done to you dozens of times.

There is only one note on my 14 February To do list: You

I didn’t get you a present, but I figured you wouldn’t mind as long as you got to see my boobs. Happy Valentine’s Day!

For more funny Valentine’s Day sayings browse to:

Funny Valentine’s Day quotes

Valentine’s Day quotes

Funny love quotes

Funny sayings about love

We hope you have found some funny Valentine’s Day sayings that cheered you up. If you also know some great funny sayings, we appreciate if you shared it if our community through the comments section. Happy Valentine’s Day to you!